Rant

Untitled

As I stare at my 2015-2016 course registration 7 blank spaces stare back at me. I struggle to decide what courses I should take for my 3rd year in high school. Should I take A.P.? Should I take honors? Is this schedule too hard? Is it hard enough?

I have some ideas of where I want to go to college but nothing anywhere close to a decision. Yet until I decide, I feel like I must push myself and do well enough for the most prestigious of schools. I do not want to have a college tell me ‘Well maybe if you had taken AP History sophomore year, we would accept you’. I know this is all very dramatic and probably extremely unlikely but that does not stop the thoughts in my head.

I am just in an uncomfortable place. Not quite to the stress of college but not a careless freshman anymore. My decisions matter more now but not quite enough. I want to do anything and everything but I also want to have a focus and plan for the future. It’s like the ‘bardo’ of my young adult life.

I was recently thinking about why when you open a new document it automatically names itself ‘Untitled’. Why not instead force you to title the document immediately? And I guess the way I see it is that everything is untitled in the beginning, it’s not nothing at all, just untitled. That’s where I am right now, half way through 10th grade, not nothing, just untitled.

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